A day of arrangements

The information....

Sunday Visitation 1-6pm
1/27/08
Drake and Son Funeral Home 5303 N Western Avenue

Monday Funeral 11am
Unity Church of Chicago
1925 W. Thome

Internment-Private

Donations are requested in memory of mary to one of the following:

www.methodisthealth.com/foundation
The prostate and renal cancers Discovery Fund-corporate Matching May Apply

The Methodist Foundation
P.lO. Box 4384
Houston, Texas 77210-4384
Phone: 832-667-5816
In memory of Mary M York
Notify:
LaGenia Bailey
6070 N Hermitage
Chicago, IL 60660

LCCP
www.lccp.org

The American Cancer Society
http://www.cancer.org/

Feed The Soul Program-homeless feeding program/disaster relief/indigent housing programs
http://www.feedyoursoul.org/

love you all, xoxox lg

Things I could

I could not have my hand be intravenous
to give Mary the fluids she needed
though I wanted to.....

My body could not be a shield
from the inner invader
strenght be found within, around us
fight we have

I could not protect her enough
to save her from the pain.....

I could not maintain the delusion of
unlimited time
Cancer robbs you of this fantesy

I could not stop the destruction of our
future together, through thought or prayer
vision I hold
of possibility of time

I can live in each moment with Mary
We are lucky to find the love of a lifetime
Lifetimes......to find truth, compassion, acceptance
committment, love, generosity and passion on all levels of being..

I am grateful to find the love of my life
The person who makes you want to be a better person
and helps you accomplish that goal
To have my heart opened wide & pray that it stays that way

To feel better just be be in the same room
She told me to go home tonight from the hospital
I only want to be with her......

The view from the room, of the city so beautiful
The lights on her hospital bed flicker green
I feel like I'm half way to heaven
The irony of the oncology units, high up in the city

We have been both teacher and student for each other
We have the gift of great love, and respect
We have learned from each other
Balancing who we are, have become

I can take care of her with love
Knowing that I can never do enough
to balance the love and gentleness she deserves
That I can touch her with love....even when wiping her butt

She apologizes for the diarrhea, the vomit, the lifting
I tell her, please don't apologize....it is okay....I don't mind
The body ravaged by the effects of cancer.....I kiss her scars
She is still beautiful to me

That I can never protect her enough
to save her from suffering....I suffer with her and ask for strength
to give to her....so that I can care for her

I try to be a conduit for healing
Each day asking for love, healing, guidance and protection
Having to remind myself

I am not the emotions
I am not the thoughts
I am not the body
I am the soul
I am love

This is the gift of true love

This is the greatest gift of all

To my love....mary....I give you all lg

I can't imagine being more tired.............

Well, yes I can......but we won't go there. It seems that I am moving the the wind of a tornado and I so crave the vortex. A void of spinning. All mary's family have been in...for the one hand it is good...on the other....Mary just needs quiet and rest. So I tore apart the yoga room....set up the TV & I bought in November but never set up....Moved the double bed into the corner and wha la....we have a respite for visitors. When Mary says she is tired....a place to go to give her quiet instead of folks sitting downstairs and watching the big TV. I'm on the couch tonight as Al, Mary's dad was at the motel at the end of the block but it was too cold to tolerate so he is sleeping in our bed upstairs and larry/cindy in the yoga room.

I've fit two weeks of work into a 17 hour day on Tuesday and as much as I could manage the last few days. Can't wait to hit the couch. One of the hardest things it not being able to touch Mary as we sleep. Tonight I laid on her hospital bed as she sat up to take her chemo....a pillow on my stomach and her leaning her full weight on me to be conforitable as she sat. It is hard for her to sit up without support. I was lovely to be so close and to curl my body around her back as she fought to keep the chemo down. She has alot of nausea which is not surprising. They did tell us the first two weeks would be a bear. I've fought with insurance companies today and yelled at everyone to use hand sanitizer....

Pearl walked on my side as I supported mary and wrapped her tail around mary's neck and back . I think she misses us too...She is the best cat. She is here next to me and managed to jsut fall off the book case just now. I'm sure our downstairs tenents are overf us dropping things as it happens more times than not. I think I'll move the massage table downstairs and put my camping sleeping mat on it so that I can lay next to Mary sometimes and just hold her a bit. I've developed a systems involving pillows between us so it support my arm and puts no pressure on her body but yet she knows I'm there. We'll see.

Well, I'm off to bed/couch/pearl on my side. I love you xo lg

We are home from Houston

I know that when I get really quiet....poop has hit the oscillator. I wrote via email that brain mets were not present and that Mary started a new chemo regimen. What I didn't write is how sick she got in the last 10 days. They call it tumor sick....cause there is no better name for it. Tumor sick means that the body cant handle the load of illness and it starts 3rd spacing water. Mary went from ambulatory to weak Thursday before last to hospitalized friday to confused to OMG. The confusion and weakness progressed until chemo started. She is better.....she can stand with help and is walking now with her walker. Her sister Cindy and brother in law Larry flew to Houston Thursday am to help me as I spent Wed night in a panic cause I was having to lift Mary & the level of decline was precipitous. The confusion has cleared and they started chemo emergently Wed night. They admitted her on intermediate care Thur and did a tune up with blood, thyroid hormone, with lasix and with fluids. So back from the edge we are...Mary is bossing me again....kissing me and thanking me for saving her life. I say it is God and not me.

The Chemo regimen is high dosages of two medicines. In 9 previous patients 80% were PET Negative...meaning the tumors were there but there were no growth activity within 8 weeks. We would then stay on the regimen indefinitely....giving the body more time to heal. These two weeks will be intense as when cancer dies it has a fit. When the stuff works....the body gets better in two-three weeks....or back from the edge. The rest is about healing.

I'm still working....mary is not. I may ask for folks help just to be here till I find a reliable source of person to stay with Mary when I cannot be here. Cindy is staying the week and we have other relatives coming in Tuesday to help.

May I sent out a special thankyou to Cindy, Larry, Jason, Gary, Rose, Linda, Mel, Scorby, Supie and Lennie. Linda made sure we had a hospital bed and equipment set up upon our arrival home, Gary was here for delivary and cooked us a beautiful dinner last night; Scorby-fed our cats and prayed when we were getting mary up the stairs; Cindy and Larry-took the first flight out at 7am after my 11pm call and didn't leave our side; Supie-saved mary's life by finding the right health care; Rose-stayed here and cooked/helped mary when Jason and I ran all over chicago looking for a lift chair; Larry and Jason-took a pickup truck to NorthBrook so mary could have a lift chair last night; Lennie, Mel, Larry and Jason; carried Mary up the stairs in a wheelchair with me having a breakdown and yelling at them to be careful; Al-Mary's dad paid for the lift chair; Cindy-continues to be here and helps me make sure Mary can get to the bathroom and is doing out laundry/taking down the xmas tree/and feeding Mary so I can work.

This all in the last two days......I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything people continue to do and support us. love, lg

I'll be sending out an affirmation prayer soon via email.

Thank you for being there...thankyou for all