It seems that time passes and then it doesnt'

It is the 3rd month since Mary's passing and the experience seems to be getting more difficult. I don't know what it is....some folks have moved on....other people don't know what to say. Others I don't hear from and don't have very much energy to reach out at the moment. The body has been sick the last week and I'm tired beyond words. I so believe in the divinity of love and life.....the experience of unity of all. I love so big and am so fortunate to have had Mary-our love together. This is still present in life...in our home. The learnings are available if one remains open to them. I just don't know how to recognize all of this when I feel so alone at night....it is as if my heart has broken......many reasons written on my heart. Grief does weird things. I keep hanging in there....figuring out the right actions...the right prayers,....the words to sooth. I sit in Mary's chair....go up and bury my face in her cloths to smell her and feel comforted by her presence in a physical sense. Will it be like my brother....will the smell slowly fade over time. He feels closer to me than ever.....It as if his spirit lives within me. Mary is quiet.....there is a level of sadness perhaps it is mine and a projection of the emotional pain at the moment. Fortunately, emotions are just that....they pass. It is about giving it time...knowing that right now I have no plans for life other than to get through each day accomplishing something. Work is good...I feel competent there. hard to do public speaking wthout a voice so I began antibiotics. Pearl is sick again. She won't eat the medicine. Not sure what to do. I hope she gets better...we keep going to the vet. I wish I had some wonderful amazing commentary for this phase of grieving. I guess it would be....mercy and compassion for one's self. So HUM. i am......I am.....I am not the body, I am not the emotions, I am not the mind.....I am I am .... I am the soul. Know this and be whole. I am love, I am peace, I am a child of God, i am love, I am .....just I am. This is all. Thinking of a happy event, Mary and My first kiss...bring it to the heart...share it with all.......loving again...loving all....loving God....knowing that as each of us is one...when one suffers we all do. Bless us all...love, lg

Day on the Road-New experiences at home

Adjustment; I started out at 7am this morning and home at 9:30pm. Long ass work day. Meditation this am.....ususally keeps me sane. Lately, home is too quiet and I think I'm readying myself for some new experience and moving toward the yoga space that would have more energy within these walls. It will be a place for my meditation group and for me to take up the space upstairs with yoga. I've gotten to enjoy the bed of late. Cutting off 16 inches...making the temperpedic from a King to a Queen has been an exorcism of the cancer part.(yes I am a country girl who didn't want to buy a new bed so I cut the old one with a sharpened bread knife-thank you Racheal for your help) Mary's sweat was orange during the chemo and stained so much...she would sweat alot at night. So I kept the love making part of our bed and cut off the place that was about pain and immobility and breaking things. I carried the 16 by 80 inch piece of foam and pitched it down three floors to the earth.....something so big to do and when it hit...it hardly made a sound.....made the bed up and tucked the king size stuff underthe bed to make a queensize experience. As I free myself from angst...though some one said today....for God sake's LG you are human.....I free myself to feel the grief of the last couple of months. My jaw has stopped spasming as much when I cry cause I'm trying to relax and rub my chin and jaws so they relax. Ive never had the level of tears that I've experienced of late.

Someone said the famous words "you'll get through this" to which I've started to say..."through what" to that. Yes, emotions come and go, so do thoughts, so do pains and lonliness and fears and joys......this is my life.....the life of being here alone in the quiet with just the silence....my master chanting OM the cats on the desk and me....trying to figure out how to exercise enough, get work done....eat smaller amts/healthy'r things and who to call that I haven't called lately cause I don't want to be the vortex of unmet need. I could call 80-100 people and the fact is that the one person I want to call and talk over my day with is Mary. The other people I love, glad to experience, help me to remember how to breathe...that life is good, that I'm lucky and grateful for their love. Say things that I hang onto like a rope off the edge of a cliff and make me remember that I'm not supposed to get over it...there are no rule....that considering what life has been like the last couple of years....it is no wonder that I'm feeling stuff. How to accept this life that has been delt....to focus on what/who is here.....to try to include all from the past as part of what brought me to now and be open to possibility of the future....cause I really got no plans or dreams at the moment. They died when Mary did and I've got to figure how to have dreams/plans hopes. Man I miss Mary so much.....I can't even begin to say......

In the last two days, Al's answering machine got zapped in a lightning storm and Rose turned off Mary's cell phone. I asked her to keep it on.........it was bundled with two others and they are both still on........one more thing to grieve I guess. Just add it to the list. I would call and leave her messages when I missed her...it was a comfort to hear her voice. Al is really upset as those were the last two recordings we had of Mary's voice. Her cell and Al's machine. It is on the answering message at home....but very short...just the number. I can't imagine changing this. I'm hoping I can find other snippits of her talking. I tried to video tape her at home...but each time we started....we'd start to cry as it was confirmation she was not going to live. We tried so hard to stay in the positive frame of mind. We did for the most part I think......I sure wish we had said screw it and just run away for a month together. I'm not sure when that would have been as it seemed we were always dealing with some sort of health crisis...whether it was surgeries, chemo side effects...Mary trying to work and help the business or something. I'm taking a video class at apple to try to help retrieve video's we have...even if it is just a minute of her talking...it is still good. Toward the end I felt like I was caring for her so she could work....it wore her out so much....yet she still went there for her clients. She worried so much about the business.

Well, I have alot to do at the moment....I have to get up early so I'm off to bed soon. Thank you to all who read....... xoxo lg

One month later

I wear four bracelets at the moment: one that says Love; 2nd: live bold(trust your instincts); 3: Yes I can; 4: I'm always with you. I got two for Mary York in 2006 and two for me recently. Most of the time I'm okay....lately the quiet alone time that I so craved much of my life has been difficult. When I meditate I feel okay...when I don't I feel okay but not as good as when I do meditate. I feel Mary's presence around me.....each moment...sometimes each breath I take. Holding on to small nuances as the days pass....I'm really looking forward to spending time with my Mom and especially going on vacation in June. It has been a long time since I've just had time to loaf. I'm toying with not taking a computer which would be a huge thing. I sometimes go most of the day without talking to someone except the cats. They are right by me most of the time....even pearl has taken to visiting in the daylight which is unusual for her. Not much has changed since my last writing except I'm no longer angry...just resigned. Focusing on who is here.....who I love and who I can count on. We are all evolving...we all make mistakes....it is part of life....god loves us-the god the not so good and the really terrible. I forgive and let go.....Atma Namaste. I say this each and every day. It is good that I know emotions are just that.....that I'm not the emotions, the thoughts or any other "thing" except the soul. This brings me great comfort. My soul mate is still here....just can't touch her or hear her talk with a voice that is audible in nature.

I still remember Mary's passing as one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. The other was when we first kissed. I'm lucky in love and lucky to have found my sole mate...in Mary York. I miss her so much.....the nights between 9pm and 11pm are the hardest....normally I'd be helping Mary get to bed, helping her undress, lifting her into bed. tucking her in and kissing her gently. I took to kissing her arms and hands as they were the only place that was not sore or in risk of breaking. I even kissed her arm before I closed the casket. Funny how I had to do everything...this body I had loved so many times....I had to be there to clean her up after she died....I could not leave for four hours....God bless Mom, Cat, Bonnie and Mel for sitting there with me.....I had to put her jewelry on and take it off....I covered the body and locked the casket. I closed the door when the hurst drove away. Mel and I put her ashes in the urn from the cardboard box in which they came. How do you say good by to what you have cherished. I'm not sure as I think I will always be married to Mary York.

Mary knew me so well. May 3rd is my brothers birthday...June 2nd is the death date. It is like it is wedged in my internal time clock and I become slowed in most things. She would say just get through the spring...she loved it so that it helped me through this time. Just be gentle with myself....I try and will continue to love myself no matter what state I am in. I just know that I will be okay.....I've been left here in this plane for some reason. The key is to figure it out.

I'm off to Springfield in the am...i guess I should get home before long. Yoga class was nice tonight. love, lg

What to write...how to have the experience

A friend told me to focus on what I have not what I don't.....sage advice and some that I agree with. It has been twom months since Mary passed and 3 weeks since my father. Many who were around alot are not as it becomes time to move back into life and it's becomes tiring for me to be a vortex of need.....grief sometimes feels like that. Last night I just wanted someone to tell me it'd be okay.....that all the love that had been shared would sustain me (it is)....that betrayal of Mary's trust and wishes is a bad dream that one will wake up from.....that the good will was not a lie and that people will do the right thing. Don't let anyone take your power.....people show you who they are.....believe them. God I just wish I could talk to Mary York and it would be okay. Obviously shit has been hitting the oscillator....I'm trying to duck out of the way. I just want my family back.

Another friend told me that stupidity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. I'm someone who doesn't know how to do revenge nor want to...generally thinks the best of folks and their intensions. This is not always the way of the world......I'm finding this out by lessons learned.....

I've made Mary's office ours and am moving my bedroom to the front room. I hope this will bring new opportunities.....angst over Mary's estate is the last thing that I want or need... Mary would be appalled if she was here. I am too tired to refereee my own fight so I will let ohter go it for me.....I need to go to bed. love, lg

Time is a friend and not

It has been over a week since I have writen. I'm back from my first week back at work and very tired. I'm caught up in the feeling of wanting to talk with Mary, the sense of waiting. Sometimes it is waiting for her to call, to walk in, to hear her voice, to feel better, sometimes it is waiting for the next wave of sadness when I'm joyful, sometimes it is for joy to come, many times it is just waiting to figure out what to do next. I have had three dreams since Mary's passing. One my mother drove accross the backyard at my parents house in my old Datsun B210...it was royal blue with red/white stripe..1977 so for the bicentenial colors. I opened the door and my Dad was in the back seat. I asked him where she had the car...he said i don't know...she keeps alot of stuff. Mom said, "I kept this for you cause I thought you might need it". Funny how I left home in that car to go to college and became an adult. I asked Mom how she survived my brothers death, she said "I don't think I did, part of me died when he did". It is one of the wisest things I have ever heard. Part of me died when Mary did as it represented the end of a life that I counted on...mine and hers as partners in this physical plane. I have to start over and build a life that will be mine and different. One doesnt' lose what one had.......but it just is a new life now. Sometimes I'm excited about it.....other times I just don't know. The things that are freeing are the things that are really weird. Like, who should I list as an emergency contact. Every time I travel for work, I have to list this. If something happens to me.....I don't want them to call my Mom. Who do I call when I get off the plane to tell them I'll be home in 45 minutes from the airport. How do I cook for one person and who cares anyway.

The 1st dream.....I was looking for Mary and could not find her. The other my Ex was dying and I could do nothing to stop it. Go figure......

I cannot figure out if there is something I'm supposed to learn, do or be from this experience. I know I am strong, have a more open heart, more compassion, more everything....more graditude.....I'm having to learn how to live differently from the physical standpoint...that of finances and just the way I am in my body. It feels good to be physically active. i realized I had slowed to Mary's pace in so many ways of doing things....then I would be really fast to get things done when on my own. Both were out of balance. So, I'm moving more and this feels good. I actually bought a pair of tennis shoes. For those of you who know me, this is a rare experience as I think they are not proper shoes. However, I like them alot and feel springy in them.

I was told that the next experience may happen but was not sure how to be ready for it....

People who were around the most are gone......some of our close people cannot see me not returning calls because it hurts to much. How weird is that. I get it but I also know that the only way we heal is together. I feel abandoned but some but knowing that chasing after someone is an old pattern that I chose not to repeat. So I've decided not to put energy there by calling and just know people will come back as they can. There are others who call daily if they haven't heard from me and meet me where ever my emotional state is....if I am happy they are too, if I'm crying they cry with me...if I'm busy they are okay with me talking later. For this I am so grateful....some call when they are having a hard time...this is okay too as it makes me not feel alone in my grief....I may stop folks if I can't go there at the moment...i.e. I have to be on for something like work/talk etc. I'm so grateful for this intimacy of friends that developed through Mary's experience ... she has left me with such gifts. I have difficulty when I say I'm okay and people say "really?" Well actually....yes at this moment. Call at 3 am and you might get a different story....but both are part of the process. Someone called and said talked about the first month aniversary and how they wanted to be there for me, that it would be a hard day, etc, etc,....I actually had not thought about it cause I'm more focused on minute by minute. Now I'm aware that today is the first month....it seems such a short time ago that I kissed her coffin and closed the door. Mel (god love her) came over last night and we transferred Mary's ashes from the cardboard box to an urn. We cried, tried not to spill any, chanted Om Mani Padme Hum.....sat on the bed holding hands with our feet on each other and talking about Mary.

Elizabeth, Mary's cleaning lady for 20 years was over a few weeks back and I showed her the ashes in the cardboard box. Thank God I did cause she told me this story about how she had knocked a box off the mantle and it had opened scattering dirt everywhere....she had put as much as she could back and vacuumed the rest.....the man returned home and said it was his mother. OMG...... I have a beautiful altar set up in the bedroom next to the bed. It gives me comfort in the night. Elizabeth also told me I was a young woman and would take another lover...that I would have to put Mary in the closet cause she couldn't not be in the room. I thought, have you ever actually thought about putting Mary in the Closet....well, one doesn't ever contemplate that experience. She was the most out person I know. I was proud to be on her arm and proud of her. I miss her so much, there are no words for this................................
'

Visiting Marilyn in Montana and spending time at my bosses house was lovely....they had lovely spaces set up for me to be...I cried when I walked into Marilyn's home and saw the care/the welcome.....my boss had 600 thread count sheets.....I've never slept on anything so soft in my life. Marilyn has a lovely place and such comfort in her presence and in her living space. The eyes, light, space and organization...for me this was Zen. I would like to have this at home and have been inspired to work towards that goal: esp, office. The sensory experience of touch is one that I have missed and miss from Mary. The last two years I have looked to friends for big hugs...as these could potentially break Mary's back or ribs. I developed elaborate pillow towers to support my weight as we slept so I could lay next to her. I enjoyed spooning her back the last month so I could be a human chair for her to sit up on the edge of the bed. One memory I cherish from the last day of her life was sitting in her hospital bed with her and acting as her back rest...her back resting on my torso to be able to sit up. I was able to kiss her shoulders and tell her I loved her with my physical presence.

I did spend time with a yoga buddy which was good but difficult. She has somewhat of a shrine that is her house to her family who passed before her. It didn't feel like her in the house except for the island of her bedroom....it was an oasis of light. This is one of my biggest fears......of getting stuck in the grief....what to keep what to not keep. How to have my home......do I keep our bedroom as it is....do I move downstairs, do I use Mary's office or mine....sometimes our bedroom is a sanctuary...sometimes I can hardly walk into the room. What if I change something and it doesn't feel right........Our king bed will not fit downstairs..only a full or a queen....it is too hot for me downstairs as I sleep best when it is about 62-65 and our tenants like it at 70 which just costs more for my heating bill but they don't like it colder at night. This or that...monkey mind. I promised Mary that I would take a year with no big changes and am seeking counsel about this.....How do I honor our relationship...feel comforted by our love/our home/ our oasis and move forward with life.....I know one thing......Mary will always be a part of my life and my heart. I'm grateful to feel her and feel her presence ...especially during meditation. I don't want her to lower her vibration to come down here....it takes alot for the soul to do this. So, I have to increase my vib to go up and see her. I figure that is why she has not been in my dreams....I can access her in the conscious plane where others can only do it when they are asleep. I do know it takes alot of her energy...thus I want her to use it to assend to higher planes...thus I do not ask her to visit. I figure the higher she goes, the better life we have next time around. I do believe we will be together again.

Mary was able to leave two hours after she made the formal decision and told the doctor....To be able to exit the body, two hours after you say you are done, now that is good karma...no more suffering when you decide you are done. Most people never have that choice...and she did make a choice about living or dying. My aunt Sue has been saying that she wished she would die for 15 years...she will be 96 in march. I'd prefer Mary's way...make that final decision and poof...you done.

Well, Iv'e been writing for awhile and I need to go see Al....i'm looking forward to seeing he and the family....the drive upthere....I'll cry...I know this cause I always drive to her Dad's with her.

Thank you for keeping up ....for your prayers and love, xoxox lg

So not over...to begin

My friend Marilyn has encouraged me to keep writing. The last two years have been about Mary, I so wanted the visitiation and funeral to be about Mary's life, honoring her. This we accomplished. Now it is about me and I'm not sure how to organize that. It seemed like if there was a goal for which I could have a cognitive, emotional, physical and spiritual imput I okay. It was a big deal healing, caring for, being present for Mary. It was what she needed and I was there....many people were there for us. I am so grateful for all the love, caring, being there that was a part of it....but now what.

Mom and I traveled home the 31st of Jan/Thur and it took us 26 hours. We finally pulled into Quincy at 3pm on Friday. Dad was so glad to see us. It turns out that on the 23rd that his blood pressure took a nose dive but he rallied for which I am grateful not to have the same death date for my father as for Mary. I made nursing home rounds for my godmother, godfather, father and had a nice talk with my Aunt. She will be 96 in March and has lost two great loves of her life. One from young days....they had 43 years to gether and he has been gone 30. She feel in love the second time at 85 years old and had a lovely 5 year relationship with Art. He was 90 and died at 96. The were lovely together and I quite abit of time with them in their apt talking about life. My aunt called this love her senior love and when I asked her how Art made her feel she said that no matter what she did it was if Art was proud of her all the time. The look in their eyes and the smiles they gave to each other was heart warming and full of love. I asked two of their friends who had been together for 60-some years what was the secret to their marriage. The female half said "well, there are in love times and out of love times....when the out of love times hit.....you just have to remember that the in love times come back.....you fall in love all over again" her husband's reply was "sometimes I had to hide her shoes" This took me a minute to get but his wry humor gave me a belly laugh that still makes me smile today.

The last 3 weeks have been like birth. I realize how tired I am, how much I am glad Mary is out of pain, how I have no what if's cause I truely believe that we did everything we could, that I did everything I could and that there were no more stones left unturned....that I did so right by Mary York...........I expected her last day to be filled with I love you and words.....I realize that we had said everything to each other the last two years. Her last day was the process of dying. I so am glad for the words we mouthed to each other.....she said "I love you baby" to which I looked her in the eye and said I love you too. One other time she woke up and winked at me. What a way to go out of this life.

I will tell you that the moment she died it was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced...like being on a mountain top lifted by angels...the room filled with light and I felt like giant angel wings enclosed over us and pulled her from the shell of the body. I just keep saying go baby, go. go baby go...... I realized everyone was crying and then I cried. I was able to sit with the body for four hours.....Mom, Bonnie, Cat and Mel sat with us. I did not want her moved. It was surreal to feel how detached I was from the body....this body whom I loved, made love to, cared for, my heart skipping a beat to hear the voice, to see the body walk into a room, to feel comforted in all.....it wasn't Mary any more...she was gone. It was good..she was out of pain. I don't wish that back. I wish Mary was here....but I don't wish her back..... More later...love, lg

A day of arrangements

The information....

Sunday Visitation 1-6pm
1/27/08
Drake and Son Funeral Home 5303 N Western Avenue

Monday Funeral 11am
Unity Church of Chicago
1925 W. Thome

Internment-Private

Donations are requested in memory of mary to one of the following:

www.methodisthealth.com/foundation
The prostate and renal cancers Discovery Fund-corporate Matching May Apply

The Methodist Foundation
P.lO. Box 4384
Houston, Texas 77210-4384
Phone: 832-667-5816
In memory of Mary M York
Notify:
LaGenia Bailey
6070 N Hermitage
Chicago, IL 60660

LCCP
www.lccp.org

The American Cancer Society
http://www.cancer.org/

Feed The Soul Program-homeless feeding program/disaster relief/indigent housing programs
http://www.feedyoursoul.org/

love you all, xoxox lg

Things I could

I could not have my hand be intravenous
to give Mary the fluids she needed
though I wanted to.....

My body could not be a shield
from the inner invader
strenght be found within, around us
fight we have

I could not protect her enough
to save her from the pain.....

I could not maintain the delusion of
unlimited time
Cancer robbs you of this fantesy

I could not stop the destruction of our
future together, through thought or prayer
vision I hold
of possibility of time

I can live in each moment with Mary
We are lucky to find the love of a lifetime
Lifetimes......to find truth, compassion, acceptance
committment, love, generosity and passion on all levels of being..

I am grateful to find the love of my life
The person who makes you want to be a better person
and helps you accomplish that goal
To have my heart opened wide & pray that it stays that way

To feel better just be be in the same room
She told me to go home tonight from the hospital
I only want to be with her......

The view from the room, of the city so beautiful
The lights on her hospital bed flicker green
I feel like I'm half way to heaven
The irony of the oncology units, high up in the city

We have been both teacher and student for each other
We have the gift of great love, and respect
We have learned from each other
Balancing who we are, have become

I can take care of her with love
Knowing that I can never do enough
to balance the love and gentleness she deserves
That I can touch her with love....even when wiping her butt

She apologizes for the diarrhea, the vomit, the lifting
I tell her, please don't apologize....it is okay....I don't mind
The body ravaged by the effects of cancer.....I kiss her scars
She is still beautiful to me

That I can never protect her enough
to save her from suffering....I suffer with her and ask for strength
to give to her....so that I can care for her

I try to be a conduit for healing
Each day asking for love, healing, guidance and protection
Having to remind myself

I am not the emotions
I am not the thoughts
I am not the body
I am the soul
I am love

This is the gift of true love

This is the greatest gift of all

To my love....mary....I give you all lg

I can't imagine being more tired.............

Well, yes I can......but we won't go there. It seems that I am moving the the wind of a tornado and I so crave the vortex. A void of spinning. All mary's family have been in...for the one hand it is good...on the other....Mary just needs quiet and rest. So I tore apart the yoga room....set up the TV & I bought in November but never set up....Moved the double bed into the corner and wha la....we have a respite for visitors. When Mary says she is tired....a place to go to give her quiet instead of folks sitting downstairs and watching the big TV. I'm on the couch tonight as Al, Mary's dad was at the motel at the end of the block but it was too cold to tolerate so he is sleeping in our bed upstairs and larry/cindy in the yoga room.

I've fit two weeks of work into a 17 hour day on Tuesday and as much as I could manage the last few days. Can't wait to hit the couch. One of the hardest things it not being able to touch Mary as we sleep. Tonight I laid on her hospital bed as she sat up to take her chemo....a pillow on my stomach and her leaning her full weight on me to be conforitable as she sat. It is hard for her to sit up without support. I was lovely to be so close and to curl my body around her back as she fought to keep the chemo down. She has alot of nausea which is not surprising. They did tell us the first two weeks would be a bear. I've fought with insurance companies today and yelled at everyone to use hand sanitizer....

Pearl walked on my side as I supported mary and wrapped her tail around mary's neck and back . I think she misses us too...She is the best cat. She is here next to me and managed to jsut fall off the book case just now. I'm sure our downstairs tenents are overf us dropping things as it happens more times than not. I think I'll move the massage table downstairs and put my camping sleeping mat on it so that I can lay next to Mary sometimes and just hold her a bit. I've developed a systems involving pillows between us so it support my arm and puts no pressure on her body but yet she knows I'm there. We'll see.

Well, I'm off to bed/couch/pearl on my side. I love you xo lg

We are home from Houston

I know that when I get really quiet....poop has hit the oscillator. I wrote via email that brain mets were not present and that Mary started a new chemo regimen. What I didn't write is how sick she got in the last 10 days. They call it tumor sick....cause there is no better name for it. Tumor sick means that the body cant handle the load of illness and it starts 3rd spacing water. Mary went from ambulatory to weak Thursday before last to hospitalized friday to confused to OMG. The confusion and weakness progressed until chemo started. She is better.....she can stand with help and is walking now with her walker. Her sister Cindy and brother in law Larry flew to Houston Thursday am to help me as I spent Wed night in a panic cause I was having to lift Mary & the level of decline was precipitous. The confusion has cleared and they started chemo emergently Wed night. They admitted her on intermediate care Thur and did a tune up with blood, thyroid hormone, with lasix and with fluids. So back from the edge we are...Mary is bossing me again....kissing me and thanking me for saving her life. I say it is God and not me.

The Chemo regimen is high dosages of two medicines. In 9 previous patients 80% were PET Negative...meaning the tumors were there but there were no growth activity within 8 weeks. We would then stay on the regimen indefinitely....giving the body more time to heal. These two weeks will be intense as when cancer dies it has a fit. When the stuff works....the body gets better in two-three weeks....or back from the edge. The rest is about healing.

I'm still working....mary is not. I may ask for folks help just to be here till I find a reliable source of person to stay with Mary when I cannot be here. Cindy is staying the week and we have other relatives coming in Tuesday to help.

May I sent out a special thankyou to Cindy, Larry, Jason, Gary, Rose, Linda, Mel, Scorby, Supie and Lennie. Linda made sure we had a hospital bed and equipment set up upon our arrival home, Gary was here for delivary and cooked us a beautiful dinner last night; Scorby-fed our cats and prayed when we were getting mary up the stairs; Cindy and Larry-took the first flight out at 7am after my 11pm call and didn't leave our side; Supie-saved mary's life by finding the right health care; Rose-stayed here and cooked/helped mary when Jason and I ran all over chicago looking for a lift chair; Larry and Jason-took a pickup truck to NorthBrook so mary could have a lift chair last night; Lennie, Mel, Larry and Jason; carried Mary up the stairs in a wheelchair with me having a breakdown and yelling at them to be careful; Al-Mary's dad paid for the lift chair; Cindy-continues to be here and helps me make sure Mary can get to the bathroom and is doing out laundry/taking down the xmas tree/and feeding Mary so I can work.

This all in the last two days......I can't tell you how much I appreciate everything people continue to do and support us. love, lg

I'll be sending out an affirmation prayer soon via email.

Thank you for being there...thankyou for all