I could not have my hand be intravenous
to give Mary the fluids she needed
though I wanted to.....
My body could not be a shield
from the inner invader
strenght be found within, around us
fight we have
I could not protect her enough
to save her from the pain.....
I could not maintain the delusion of
unlimited time
Cancer robbs you of this fantesy
I could not stop the destruction of our
future together, through thought or prayer
vision I hold
of possibility of time
I can live in each moment with Mary
We are lucky to find the love of a lifetime
Lifetimes......to find truth, compassion, acceptance
committment, love, generosity and passion on all levels of being..
I am grateful to find the love of my life
The person who makes you want to be a better person
and helps you accomplish that goal
To have my heart opened wide & pray that it stays that way
To feel better just be be in the same room
She told me to go home tonight from the hospital
I only want to be with her......
The view from the room, of the city so beautiful
The lights on her hospital bed flicker green
I feel like I'm half way to heaven
The irony of the oncology units, high up in the city
We have been both teacher and student for each other
We have the gift of great love, and respect
We have learned from each other
Balancing who we are, have become
I can take care of her with love
Knowing that I can never do enough
to balance the love and gentleness she deserves
That I can touch her with love....even when wiping her butt
She apologizes for the diarrhea, the vomit, the lifting
I tell her, please don't apologize....it is okay....I don't mind
The body ravaged by the effects of cancer.....I kiss her scars
She is still beautiful to me
That I can never protect her enough
to save her from suffering....I suffer with her and ask for strength
to give to her....so that I can care for her
I try to be a conduit for healing
Each day asking for love, healing, guidance and protection
Having to remind myself
I am not the emotions
I am not the thoughts
I am not the body
I am the soul
I am love
This is the gift of true love
This is the greatest gift of all
To my love....mary....I give you all lg
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7 comments:
Dear LG, This Morning I look out window and see the white and crystal swnowflakes and I am reminded of where thay came from and where Mary now resides. Your writings so crystal clear that heaven on earth remnds us all that it is so. Love, Cindy
I am so sorry for the loss of Mary. I know that you love her so much. I left you a message Monday as my grandmother passed as well. The two of them are walking hand and hand. You now have a guardian angel. She is pain free now. I love you girl. Terri
Funeral Blues
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
(s)He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden
True love: deep looking, deep understanding.
Take comfort all who love you.
My dear LG......to hear your voice this morning and to know (just know) that the depth of your love for one another.....is as clear, crisp and sunny as this day. . .We send our love to you now and always.....and to know that Mary continues to be in our hearts always.
Love, Gerri and Bridget
Dear LG,
As I sit here pondering on our loss, I am overwhelmed of the grace of your love for each other; the yin & the yang, the woo-woo & the straight shooter. The absolute truth of a beautiful life & the relationship you shared together.
I am sending you light & love & know that Mary is watching over us all
love,
Sharon
LG - to have known Mary through you is to feel loss at her passing. And to know you is to understand how deeply you are missing her earth-presence. Thank you - both - for sharing so openly your commitment and love with those of us privileged enough to witness.
You are rocked gently in the tenderness of the love of your friends.
Beth
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