The blog starts up again

Hi all, I decided to start up the blog again as I've been sending out emails and find i sit waiting for people to respond to validate to let me know that life exists outside of caregiving, work and cancer. I find my self reactional to whether people respond back, who responds back, how people are if they don't respond back, and how I sensor myself. This way if you want to read, you can...just know I always appreciate replies and want to know how people are doing. I stopped the old one because Mary hated the fact that I misspell everything. The fact that I was always the first one down in a spelling bee and it has always been a source of shame my simple speech and simple writing. Those who know me, and you all do....know that my brain is brilliant in somethings and I am amazed at the way it works and can visualize things....but in other ways not. So the hell with it.....you get me how I am, however I am in the moment. Life is to short to worry about spelling. I've always thought the dictionary is messed up cause you have to know how to spell a word to be able to look it up.......if I knew that I wouldn't have to look it up. I wore a pair of shoes at work for a year with the name spelled down the soul in the middle and never knew what it said. I would not do word puzzles for extra credit at school cause I could never find anything if it was not spelled in a line from left to right. when Carrie or Mel spell words out instead of saying them...it takes me a while to figure out what they are saying. My mind is a visual matrix of amorphous forms that float into view and form pieces of puzzles. I can see my car like I'm above it......on a map moving accross a state or where it is in relationship to other towns, the state, the country....I can picture the topographical layout of a region....mile for mile. I can picture the structure of neurochemicals and drugs bonds/the ionic clouds of atoms and how they float and interact with receptor sites...how their size changes depending on the chemical substitutions....I read medicinal chemistry texts for fun.....I can visualize the organs inside the body and how they work and pump blood, I can visualize the chakras and see them move in the body, expelling energy and absorbing, what size they are and what energy level they are.... I can see stuff in peoples body sometimes and tell you that you need to go to the doctor for an evaluation....I can picture the angles on something I want to make in my head...before I measure or make it......I told the guy that made mary and my wedding rings that the stone was not set correctly....he and I argued.....when he measured it it was a millimeter off.....I can tell you what angle something is...most of the time I can tell you what note something is in a scale....sometimes I can think about it and hit it.....I can tell you based on the pitch where something will vibrate in the body based on the density of the organ that the frequency is attunned to ....I can sing into your body and hear the changes in the body based on different densities of the internal body....tell you what's different and how it works for healing.....I can create lots of stuff visually....but I can't spell worth a damn......cause I cannot visualize each letter and how it fits together in a word. So there....it's out, everyone knows, I'm glad, I will continue to miss spell lots of things.....but you know who to come to in order to see something. That is all for today...xo lg