The drive home

Sometimes I sit with Mary and we laugh....it is like the old times.....like she has never been sick. I have never known anyone with whom I feel more at home, in love and just grateful we found each other. Tonight, as I follow her up the stairs......backpack on my pack...her walker on my shoulder.....my eyes never leaving her because I know the body is tired and I tell her to let me help her cause it is the most risky for her as she climbs the stairs cause she is tired. Riding in the car is hard on her. How I know each bump on lake shore drive hurts her and try to avoid each pot hole. My hand on her leg like I can protect her from pain by my touch. Leaving our stuff in the car cause I just can't carry more at this moment.
The meds, some saving her life....others trying to give her a life without pain.....she watches the clock cause she can predict the time by when the pain meds wear out. She said she'd like to have one day where she felt normal and not fragile....I asked her what she would do if her body was able: She said three things really: I won't share the first one; the second; go for a long walk and the third-work in the garden. Such things that one takes for granted when you can do it.....Mary York has high standards but few needs. We were planning on going to Italy last year and see Tuscany. She would still like to go and I don't want to go too far from medical care but I also get wanting to go for trips of a lifetime...etc. etc. She wants to go to mexico and sit on the beach. My thought about renting a handicapped RV is blown as the only place they rent them is in BC...not enough need for them here in the US. Austin was kind of a bust considering the broken leg & issues therein. Well, I feel I'm rambling...Mary is in bed and I'm watching bad gay TV. much love, lg