Saturday, December 15, 2007

Chitta Vritti in my head...really good I went to bed

As I read over my post from yesterday I was exhibiting the classic form of Chitta Vritti or Monkey Mind. Sometimes you just need to have a good night's sleep and the experience of rest. This caregiving gig is making me examine many different parts of myself. What it means to care deeply but not try to fix everything. What it means to be interdependant vs co-dependent from Hell. What it means to have needs with your partner...when your partner has very limited energy to give. What it means to meet your own needs and how that is. I had a long talk with a friend from Saint Louis. She works as a full time healer and with energy shifts as her main work. We talked deeply about detachment as a healthy endeavor for many things in life. That you can still care deeply but how you can give your will over to god and put things overwhich you really can't control into the hands of god and completely let go of the outcome. It allows you to be in the present....it allows you to notice the roses that are present, in bloom, the aroma, the fragrace, the beauty of it all. Take time to smell the roses...this is it. Not get caught up in the emotions or make it about you....cause non of it really is. My tests came out okay yesterday. My vocal cords are a little swollen from acid from the belly. I basically was told to take better care of myself, eat better and nothing to eat for 3 hours before I go to bed. So much for that late night Rice Dream. Meditation would be better anyway.

Later....I've been gone for awhile....Mary is in alot of pain today and thus has needed more help. She fell Tuesday and the body is feeling it the last two days. Nothing broken but this shake ups do not help. I'm asking angels to work on her with some help from pranic healing techniques. It helps. That and 3 Fentanyl patches...dilaudid and norco. We are hanging in there...she is asleep. love, lg

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