I'm sitting here at Mary's Dad's house. It has been full of lots of kids, food, people and holiday crazies. Mary and her sister Cindy went for a walk outside and I was tackled by Al wanting to know all about Mary. It caught me a little off-guard but I have always been honest with him and will continue to do so. I felt a little defensive but again realized that I do the same thing just because I care about Mary so much that I want the best for her. Thus, I understand the heat of the grill. We all love her so..... Mary has had 3 birthday cakes and lots of singing of well wishes. We all want her to have many more years......
I can't believe it has been the 15th since I wrote. I kicked butt at work this week and did a three day tour of Wisconsin with speaker trainings, talks and driving. I loved the talk I did in Manitowoc....the view from the mental health center was amazing at about 20 feet from the lake. The drives were lovely and after two days of hotel sleeping...I was glad to get home.
Mary's bday was Friday and we spent the day appreciating her life and holding onto each other in the afternoon. She refused to cry the last couple of days though I went out and gave it a good one just to get the irritability out. I'm drinking rose oil in my water. This helps clear red energies of disease as well as anger. (I put this in Mary's water and she gaged). I feel pissed off about everything and nothing the last week or so. She has needed so much more help. Gary and Scorby stayed the night the two that I was gone...each sleeping in the bed with her. She said it was weird but evidently she had to touch Gary in her sleep and Pearl slept on top of Scorby the whole night. I loved that. The thing about asking people for help is that it gives them a chance for intimacy as well. It is a good thing. I had someone say that they didn't want to do yoga with me to preserve some boundries. This saddened me for I have learned that boundries, though good and necessary, are a mixed bag. The have to be there for cultural appropriateness and safety but I also know that for me they have staved off connection which I so craved. I saying that..the boundry queen and yet I've relaxed some so much....and put others up during this time. I had to let go of some friendships which has been hard yet...others have taken off like I would have never thought possible.
I'd like to wish everyone the best of holidays, love, joy, peace and healing in 2008. Thank you for your continued love and committement. Much love and kisses under the mistle toe. xoxoxodxoxoxoxxoxo lg
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